The New Hollywood

When I phoned E.L., he didn't say hello - he just started talking.  Evidently I'm the only client he has in my area code.  And, hey, wasn't the crusty, curmudgeonly voice just a little softer?

E.L. said, "I'm going to give you a crash course in MovieMaking 101.  Your name isn't Jolie, or Pitt, or Smith (as in Will) or, etc...you get the picture.

Here's the playing field you're dealing with today:  Movie studios and production companies won't touch screenplays unless they have already attached someone like a Jolie, or a Pitt...

So here's what you have to do to get your picture made:

(At this point I assumed he liked the screenplay.)

You have to form a Limited Liability Corporation (LLC) and make the picture yourself.  Then you sell distribution rights to a Motion Picture Corporation - whoever bids the highest."

Whaaaa...?  I'd assumed I'd sell my screenplay for a ton, retire, and spend the rest of my days on the beach with drinks in coconut shells featuring little umbrellas...

I explained:  "E.L., I'm an engineer, not a movie producer!"  (flashback:  Dr. McCoy in Star Trek:  Dammit Jim, I'm a DOCTOR not a (insert profession here).)

"I don't know the first thing about making movies!  I just wrote the screenplay!"

E.L. replied in a soothing voice:  "That's what I'm here for."

Many sleepless nights followed.