Tomorrow I am getting off-shift and will be flying from Prudhoe Bay, Alaska, to Las Vegas, Nevada. A twelve-hour sojourn. Joy!
At least I'm headed home.
Nestled in my briefcase are printouts of all three screenplay critiques. Since I will be a prisoner in an extremely confined space (read: crappy airline seat) there is no escape: I WILL read the critiques and I WILL come up with a screenplay revision strategy. Yes, I WILL. No excuses. And I will IMPLEMENT the strategy. Goal: one scene a day until completion.
The title of today's blog - Girding my Loins - may have thrown some of my readers for a loop: have I turned to porn to augment my readership?
No, dear reader, I have not.
The title is taken from Scripture. I belive the loin-girder of record was Sampson, from the Old Testament. He was about to kick a bunch of hapless Philistine ass. But first he had to gird his loins. I'm with you, buddy!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
A Writer's Purgatory
My screenplay has now gone through three reviews from three reviewers.
The First Reviewer was recommended to me by Budget Guy - for the low, low fee of $100.
When the comments were e-mailed back to me, the first line of the review was a 3-column header. The first column was a check-box and the comment "RECOMMEND;" the second column, a check-box and the comment "CONSIDER;" and the third column, a check-box and the comment "PASS." Guess which one my screenplay got? PASS.
I haven't mustered the courage to get past this and read the review comments.
The Second Reviewer was The Director's personal assistant. We had a telconference, she speaking and me transcribing her comments on my laptop.
She was very kind. She liked my story! And she had some very constructive comments.
The Third Reviewer was recommended to me by Raven. She told me this reviewer was a personal friend and reviewed all her books (yes, Raven is a published author as well!) Tough, but good. And pricey!
Raven was right. He is tough. I guess. I haven't read his review either. Hubby did. Sister did. They both reported back to me with kind and encouraging words.
Must do so, and soon. Must read all review comments and incorporate.
But it is difficult to do so.
In the South there is an expression: "You need to lick your calf again." It is a beautiful and perfect allegory of what I am going through.
To you non-Southerners, I will explain: when a calf is born to its mother, the calf is the most beautiful thing the mother has ever seen. She licks and licks and licks her calf until it is sparkling clean and perfect.
I need to lick my calf again.
The First Reviewer was recommended to me by Budget Guy - for the low, low fee of $100.
When the comments were e-mailed back to me, the first line of the review was a 3-column header. The first column was a check-box and the comment "RECOMMEND;" the second column, a check-box and the comment "CONSIDER;" and the third column, a check-box and the comment "PASS." Guess which one my screenplay got? PASS.
I haven't mustered the courage to get past this and read the review comments.
The Second Reviewer was The Director's personal assistant. We had a telconference, she speaking and me transcribing her comments on my laptop.
She was very kind. She liked my story! And she had some very constructive comments.
The Third Reviewer was recommended to me by Raven. She told me this reviewer was a personal friend and reviewed all her books (yes, Raven is a published author as well!) Tough, but good. And pricey!
Raven was right. He is tough. I guess. I haven't read his review either. Hubby did. Sister did. They both reported back to me with kind and encouraging words.
Must do so, and soon. Must read all review comments and incorporate.
But it is difficult to do so.
In the South there is an expression: "You need to lick your calf again." It is a beautiful and perfect allegory of what I am going through.
To you non-Southerners, I will explain: when a calf is born to its mother, the calf is the most beautiful thing the mother has ever seen. She licks and licks and licks her calf until it is sparkling clean and perfect.
I need to lick my calf again.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
The Big Seminar, Part II
So we went to the Big Seminar, Hubby and I.
E.L. told those in attendance what he told me, and what I've already told you: no Big Studio is even interested in looking at your screenplay, let alone buying it. And most definitely not for a jillion dollars.
They may be pursuaded to distribute your screenplay, maybe. If you can get it made into a movie. And if they deem it marketable.
A big collective *sigh* heaved from the hopefuls in attendance.
Then E.L. talked about the 181 deal. This is a huge tax break for Indies. It makes it more attractive for would-be investors to invest in your screenplay production. If you'd like to research it in all its painfully boring details, it's found under: The American Jobs Creation Act of 2004; Internal Revenue Code Section 181.
Highlights of 181:
Investments are 100% tax deductable for the year they are made; and
A guaranteed 30% return on investment if the movie turns a profit.
Downside of 181:
It will expire at the end of 2011 - but a movie can be grandfathered if it has a screenplay and one scene shot prior to the end of 2011.
There were three Others speaking at the Big Seminar: A sucessful Distributor, and two Producers. They talked about product placement, ethnic casting, and European marketing. Interesting.
Also something known as "affinity relationships." This was new - and here's an example: you're trying to make a movie about a little-known sport such as Curling. What you do to get your movie made is try to enlist the support of members in the Curling community. Hopefully wealthy Curling members happy to invest.
And "Casterbating:" The act of imagining the actors you want in your screenplay actually being in your screenplay.
The Speakers spoke. Questions asked. Notes taken.
General schmoozing then: introductions made, complements bestowed, business cards exchanged, promises given.
Hubby said, "If you can convince people in Hollywood you're sincere, you've got it made."
E.L. told those in attendance what he told me, and what I've already told you: no Big Studio is even interested in looking at your screenplay, let alone buying it. And most definitely not for a jillion dollars.
They may be pursuaded to distribute your screenplay, maybe. If you can get it made into a movie. And if they deem it marketable.
A big collective *sigh* heaved from the hopefuls in attendance.
Then E.L. talked about the 181 deal. This is a huge tax break for Indies. It makes it more attractive for would-be investors to invest in your screenplay production. If you'd like to research it in all its painfully boring details, it's found under: The American Jobs Creation Act of 2004; Internal Revenue Code Section 181.
Highlights of 181:
Investments are 100% tax deductable for the year they are made; and
A guaranteed 30% return on investment if the movie turns a profit.
Downside of 181:
It will expire at the end of 2011 - but a movie can be grandfathered if it has a screenplay and one scene shot prior to the end of 2011.
There were three Others speaking at the Big Seminar: A sucessful Distributor, and two Producers. They talked about product placement, ethnic casting, and European marketing. Interesting.
Also something known as "affinity relationships." This was new - and here's an example: you're trying to make a movie about a little-known sport such as Curling. What you do to get your movie made is try to enlist the support of members in the Curling community. Hopefully wealthy Curling members happy to invest.
And "Casterbating:" The act of imagining the actors you want in your screenplay actually being in your screenplay.
The Speakers spoke. Questions asked. Notes taken.
General schmoozing then: introductions made, complements bestowed, business cards exchanged, promises given.
Hubby said, "If you can convince people in Hollywood you're sincere, you've got it made."
Sunday, June 19, 2011
The Big Seminar, Part I
Stubborn Blog readers, let me apologise for the two-week lapse in entries. I've been on vacation.
Sooo, to continue, the date for EL's seminar drew nigh. And we went. It was in Beverly Hills. Just when you think you've seen it all - and I thought I had, since I live in Las Vegas - you're transported into an alternate reality world like in an old Star Trek episode. Whew!
Highly recommended: walk down Sunset Boulevard on a weekend. It's straight out of the Mos Eisley bar scene from Star Wars.
We stayed at the same hotel as E.L. It was Hubby's idea. He, being an old P.R. guy from way back, said "More time for schmoozing."
Met E.L. in person for the first time when we were checking in. He is a sweetie. Gave me a big hug.
We had cocktails that night at the hotel on the Veranda. Met several other seminar attendees involved in an indie screenplay and they were just a hoot. So much fun to talk to. Met the gorgeous Raven in person for the first time. Amazing woman.
Annnd...met The Director.
E.L. had spoken with The Director about my screenplay. The Director was very, very interested.
He is not only a Director, but an Actor and a Philanthropist. And about 7 feet tall. Was in a Terminator movie. Played a Bad Guy. And looked the part, believe me.
Then The Director walked up to me and engulfed my hand with both of his big paws. "God bless you," he said. Another sweetie!
"I look forward to working with you," he said.
Gulp.
Sooo, to continue, the date for EL's seminar drew nigh. And we went. It was in Beverly Hills. Just when you think you've seen it all - and I thought I had, since I live in Las Vegas - you're transported into an alternate reality world like in an old Star Trek episode. Whew!
Highly recommended: walk down Sunset Boulevard on a weekend. It's straight out of the Mos Eisley bar scene from Star Wars.
We stayed at the same hotel as E.L. It was Hubby's idea. He, being an old P.R. guy from way back, said "More time for schmoozing."
Met E.L. in person for the first time when we were checking in. He is a sweetie. Gave me a big hug.
We had cocktails that night at the hotel on the Veranda. Met several other seminar attendees involved in an indie screenplay and they were just a hoot. So much fun to talk to. Met the gorgeous Raven in person for the first time. Amazing woman.
Annnd...met The Director.
E.L. had spoken with The Director about my screenplay. The Director was very, very interested.
He is not only a Director, but an Actor and a Philanthropist. And about 7 feet tall. Was in a Terminator movie. Played a Bad Guy. And looked the part, believe me.
Then The Director walked up to me and engulfed my hand with both of his big paws. "God bless you," he said. Another sweetie!
"I look forward to working with you," he said.
Gulp.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
The New Moviemaking 101
Here is the upshot of E.L.'s phone conversation:
As mentioned previously, most established studios will not finance motion pictures unless a high-visibility (and high box-office draw) talent is attached.
Screenplays are now turned into movies by small production companies; the movie is then pitched to studios for distribution rights. But cripes! Movies cost a ton of money. How on earth can I...?
E.L. recommended that I attend a seminar on making independent ("Indie") movies he was hosting in May. I started making plans the moment the words were out of his mouth.
In the meantime, he said, you need to come up with a Budget (Oh yeah, I can do that...NOT!) and with the Budget I can write a Business Plan for making my movie. The Business Plan is what Potential Investors review to see whether or not they want to invest. And yah, I have about as much expertise at writing a Business Plan as I do in writing a Budget...
E.L., of course, anticipated my cries of "Holy crap!"
"Now, you'll need to call Budget Guy and send him your screenplay. He will deliver - he's a good guy and a personal friend of mine. Then - I'll put the budget in your LLC charter. We'll take that to Business Plan Lady and she'll set you up."
Why don't I just open a window and throw my money out in the street?
A constant theme threading through my Screenplay is that the characters Know They Cannot Fail. At whatever they choose to do, over insurmountable odds. Perhaps I should take these words to heart, quit bellyaching, and get on with the program.
As mentioned previously, most established studios will not finance motion pictures unless a high-visibility (and high box-office draw) talent is attached.
Screenplays are now turned into movies by small production companies; the movie is then pitched to studios for distribution rights. But cripes! Movies cost a ton of money. How on earth can I...?
E.L. recommended that I attend a seminar on making independent ("Indie") movies he was hosting in May. I started making plans the moment the words were out of his mouth.
In the meantime, he said, you need to come up with a Budget (Oh yeah, I can do that...NOT!) and with the Budget I can write a Business Plan for making my movie. The Business Plan is what Potential Investors review to see whether or not they want to invest. And yah, I have about as much expertise at writing a Business Plan as I do in writing a Budget...
E.L., of course, anticipated my cries of "Holy crap!"
"Now, you'll need to call Budget Guy and send him your screenplay. He will deliver - he's a good guy and a personal friend of mine. Then - I'll put the budget in your LLC charter. We'll take that to Business Plan Lady and she'll set you up."
Why don't I just open a window and throw my money out in the street?
A constant theme threading through my Screenplay is that the characters Know They Cannot Fail. At whatever they choose to do, over insurmountable odds. Perhaps I should take these words to heart, quit bellyaching, and get on with the program.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
The New Hollywood
When I phoned E.L., he didn't say hello - he just started talking. Evidently I'm the only client he has in my area code. And, hey, wasn't the crusty, curmudgeonly voice just a little softer?
E.L. said, "I'm going to give you a crash course in MovieMaking 101. Your name isn't Jolie, or Pitt, or Smith (as in Will) or, etc...you get the picture.
Here's the playing field you're dealing with today: Movie studios and production companies won't touch screenplays unless they have already attached someone like a Jolie, or a Pitt...
So here's what you have to do to get your picture made:
(At this point I assumed he liked the screenplay.)
You have to form a Limited Liability Corporation (LLC) and make the picture yourself. Then you sell distribution rights to a Motion Picture Corporation - whoever bids the highest."
Whaaaa...? I'd assumed I'd sell my screenplay for a ton, retire, and spend the rest of my days on the beach with drinks in coconut shells featuring little umbrellas...
I explained: "E.L., I'm an engineer, not a movie producer!" (flashback: Dr. McCoy in Star Trek: Dammit Jim, I'm a DOCTOR not a (insert profession here).)
"I don't know the first thing about making movies! I just wrote the screenplay!"
E.L. replied in a soothing voice: "That's what I'm here for."
Many sleepless nights followed.
E.L. said, "I'm going to give you a crash course in MovieMaking 101. Your name isn't Jolie, or Pitt, or Smith (as in Will) or, etc...you get the picture.
Here's the playing field you're dealing with today: Movie studios and production companies won't touch screenplays unless they have already attached someone like a Jolie, or a Pitt...
So here's what you have to do to get your picture made:
(At this point I assumed he liked the screenplay.)
You have to form a Limited Liability Corporation (LLC) and make the picture yourself. Then you sell distribution rights to a Motion Picture Corporation - whoever bids the highest."
Whaaaa...? I'd assumed I'd sell my screenplay for a ton, retire, and spend the rest of my days on the beach with drinks in coconut shells featuring little umbrellas...
I explained: "E.L., I'm an engineer, not a movie producer!" (flashback: Dr. McCoy in Star Trek: Dammit Jim, I'm a DOCTOR not a (insert profession here).)
"I don't know the first thing about making movies! I just wrote the screenplay!"
E.L. replied in a soothing voice: "That's what I'm here for."
Many sleepless nights followed.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
B.C. Flightlines and Soaring Spirits
E.L. didn't even say hello - when I picked up the phone (after removing my rubber gloves from cleaning the toilet) he said, "You need to send me your screenplay. And a check."
I took this as a Good Sign.
Oh - and by the way - more Hollywood-speak: A "Treatment" is a 2-to-3 page synopsis of a screenplay with all the significant plot points.
So in short order, a copy of Stubborn was winging its way, FedEx Overnight, to E.L. With a big, fat check.
Gulp. Oh well, I've pissed away more money than that in one sitting. Nearly. Well, mostly nearly. Well, almost mostly nearly...
Next day was Valentine's day and hubby treated me to Bootleg Canyon Flightlines, in Boulder City. Isn't he a sweetie?
Part of the BC Flightlines brochure says, "Do not bring along any loose articles such as sunglasses, hats, or cell phones because they can easily be dropped during your run down the flightline. And they cannot be retrieved." So I left my phone in the car.
Four hours later, when we returned, there were FOUR messages from E.L., all saying the same thing, "Call me!"
I did a quick calculation. Hmmm, the FedEx delivery guaranteed arrival at E.L.'s office at 10AM. Looking at my watch, he's had about 2 hours to read the screenplay and call me four times.
I took this as another Good Sign.
I took this as a Good Sign.
Oh - and by the way - more Hollywood-speak: A "Treatment" is a 2-to-3 page synopsis of a screenplay with all the significant plot points.
So in short order, a copy of Stubborn was winging its way, FedEx Overnight, to E.L. With a big, fat check.
Gulp. Oh well, I've pissed away more money than that in one sitting. Nearly. Well, mostly nearly. Well, almost mostly nearly...
Next day was Valentine's day and hubby treated me to Bootleg Canyon Flightlines, in Boulder City. Isn't he a sweetie?
Part of the BC Flightlines brochure says, "Do not bring along any loose articles such as sunglasses, hats, or cell phones because they can easily be dropped during your run down the flightline. And they cannot be retrieved." So I left my phone in the car.
Four hours later, when we returned, there were FOUR messages from E.L., all saying the same thing, "Call me!"
I did a quick calculation. Hmmm, the FedEx delivery guaranteed arrival at E.L.'s office at 10AM. Looking at my watch, he's had about 2 hours to read the screenplay and call me four times.
I took this as another Good Sign.
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