There is Nothing New Except a Shooting Star

Ecclesiastes:  (and forgive me if I misspelled it)  There Is Nothing New Under The Sun.  The sun goes around and it comes around.  It it all utter foolishness, all chasing the wind.  

I haven't updated this blog in a while because, There Is Nothing New Under The Sun.  Still slogging through re-writing and how many times do you want to read that trite phrase?  So I haven't written.

This morning I was thinking of the musings of Solomon in Ecclesiastes.  But riding in the clapped-out derelict school bus that is relegated to taking the pump station personnel to and from work, this morning, this morning I saw a shooting star.  At oh-my-god-it's-early-thirty.

Of course it's pitch black dark in Prudhoe Bay now for about 23 out of 24 hours so a pitch black dark sky is the norm.  But not a shooting star.  I heard words that were mine:  Oh wow.  Wow.  Didja see that?  No one else did.  Someone said, "Well, you gotta make a wish!  You gotta make a wish on a falling star!"

Cripes, have I become that far removed from childhood that I'd forgotten that set-in-stone LAW?

Evidently.

So wish I did.  We will see if it comes true.

It's a wrap, baby.

Tomorrow Act I, Scene I, of Stubborn will be sent to E.L. to document I've met the conditions of subsection 181 of the American Reinvestment and Recovery Act - which will allow any aspiring investor to get a 100% tax credit for investing in the production of Stubborn.  No deadlines,  I can be 'grandfathered' in because the conditions have been met prior to the end of 2011, when the bill expires.  Hurrah!  Of course E.L. will want to charge me for opening his mail and finding the DVD.  But -  *sigh* nothing comes without a price...

On to other good news:  on NBC Nightly News last night there was an article about family-frendly movies - outside of vampire-themed movies, G- and PG-rated movies are the only ones selling right now.  Another selling point!

So all is well.  Continuing with the re-write.

A One-Take Wonder

Today hubby & I went to a studio to record a voice-over for Act I, Scene I, of Stubborn.  *false modesty* I nailed it in one take.  And sounded Fab-u-lous.  Hah!  I just may quit my day job...yeah right.  I'll quit my day job when Stubborn hits the theaters...

Read an interesting treatise on the way home from Prudhoe Bay, called Tales from the Script.  It is a compilation of interviews of successful screenwriters.  And according to Tales, screenwriters are the original red-headed stepchildren of the Entertainment Industry.  There were common threads in all of the interviews, namely:

• It's tough to get a screenplay turned into a movie, really tough (really? Gosh!);
• Dumb luck and coincidence are a screenwriter's best friends; and
• It's possible to be luckier if you have faith in yourself.

Reminds me of a John Wayne adage I read once:

Life is hard.

But it's harder if you're stupid.

When I get my video back from the studio, faithful reader, I'll post it on my blog.

Embracing the Arc

One of the comments that multiple reviewers had about my original screenplay was that my lead character didn't have a "character arc."  Well, yes, that's true.  In the script, she first came to light as a victim of an unfortunate circumstance and strove to do better.  As one would expect any contributing member of the human race.  Turns out, that's not what people want to see.

Nope, to have a "character arc" she has to be a generally rotten person who makes bad choices but is basically good inside - she just needs a good and regular thrashing by the Forces of Nature (here played by my computer keyboard) to make her see the Way, the Truth, and the Light.  So - Stubborn, Revision 1 is coming along nicely.  Slowly.  But coming along.

Oh - and I promised you the first scene of Stubborn.  Here it is sans dialogue.  Hubby has (hopefully) found a studio that will do a professional job of dubbing it in.

Thawing Out in the Midst of Icebergs

Hurrah!  The writer's block has unfrozen.  Who woulda thought it'd take me returning to The Land of Frozen Sewers to get un-tube-blocked?  Two scenes have been successfully edited just today!  Goal:  get this edit completed and get Stubborn in the Right Hands by the end of this year.  We will see.

Reading last Sunday's post I was struck by the self-pitying misery.  Faithful reader, why didn't you reach through my monitor and smack me in the back of my head? 

Hubby circumvented Tuesday's pre-Wednesday travel moping misery by taking me to an indoor go-cart race track.  For grown people.  Heck, these carts were nothing like I remembered as a little kid, scrawny things with lawnmower engines.  No - hell for stout with seriously amped-up engines that went real fast around a LeMans-style track.  Zoom!

What great fun!  Until the next morning.  Cripes, it felt like we'd been in a mondo rock-tumbling machine.  We had bruises all over and sore in places where we didn't know we had places.  Oh well, that's why God made ibuprofen.

Go Speed Racer, Go!

From Sunlight to Darkness, and I Really Mean It

It's about 10:00 PST and tomorrow I will get aboard a big, inhoSPITable airplane that will dump me off in Seattle, home of an horrific and inhoSPITable air hub, and then catch another similar aircraft - oh hey! - both rife with screaming kids - that will finally excrete me into Anchorage.  Sound bitter?  Yah, pretty much.  About 65 here now, 30-ish in Anchorage; then on to minus 20-ish in Prudhoe Bay the following morning.  Nothing like a visceral slap of incredibly cold weather in the face to make you own up to - what the hell were you thinking?

You make it what it is.

After four months incapacitation I find myself dreading and yes, afraid, of what awaits me back where I work.   My colleagues have given the disease we all have about our occupation a name:  the Golden Handcuffs.


See, the compensation is so excellent, and you cannot even hope to find a better deal;  and you're working less than half a year so it's easier to forgive the misery you deal with when you're on-shift.  I guess.

You make it what it is.


Tomorrow I'll see the little brown dogs - the ones that pester the life out of me when I'm cooking in the kitchen - and the ones that have learned that I will take them for walkies every morning - for the last time in two weeks.  How can I explain it to the little guys I'm going away for awhile - I don't speak dog-ese.

I of course will cowgirl up like I always do.  I will make it what it is - and nothing more.  It is a job.  It pays the bills.

What has this to do with Stubborn?  Not a lot, faithful reader.  But perhaps you can get an insight into my mindsight.

Cripes, don't we all have our crosses to bear?

Back to Work, and Back to Stubborn

It has been four months since I have been at my job in Alaska.  As you know, I have been sidelined with a horrendous broken ankle.  But - I have been released to return to my job in balmy Prudhoe Bay and will be returning on Wednesday. *sigh*

Well, it is a good thing on many levels.  Being off work for so long gets me to feeling uneasy, especially in this uncertain economy.  And, it's a cherry gig.  So that is one check-off in the plus column.  Another thing, I can actually concentrate enough to write, edit, and revise Stubborn.  Because there's not another damn thing to do up there after hours.  Another check-off.  I look forward to completing my revision in the upcoming two weeks on-shift.

Hard pressed to come up with a third.  I noticed the airfare up there and back has increased by $250 since the last time I purchased a ticket.  Damn!  But there's this silly little thing:  to continue getting envelopes with windows in them I must return to work.  Silly little niggling thing.  Off I go.

Oh - here's the first scene of Stubborn sans dialogue for your review:

Well...damn!

Today I talked with the Friend of Wonderful Sister.  The Friend has managed to take a bunch of incongruous, wobbly movie clips and turn them into a fab-u-lous first scene for Stubborn.  I mean it.  Complete with a beautiful soundtrack.  I will include it in another post - when I can morph a ".wmv" into a ".mov" because I have a Mac and Friend has sent it in PC format.  Mac and PC appear to be mortal enemies...

And here's the well, damn! part of it:  He saw the takes for what they were.  Here are his words:  "This is the first scene, isn't it?  And she's (he knew it was a woman!) come back to where it all began - hasn't she? Well...damn!


Wonderful sister had talked to Friend but never gave away anything about the plot of Stubborn.   And Friend saw it for what it was - an intro into a life experience of (what turns out to be) a remarkable woman. Well...damn!

Friend is a friend indeed.  Although he is between jobs, Friend would not accept a dime from me.  He said he had already been recompensed by Wonderful Sister - a gift of chocolate-covered strawberries.  His favorite.

So, Stubborn is moving along, faithful reader.  In increasingly mysterious ways.

The Gate to Success Creaks Open a Bit

From the last posting one can surmise that I am completely lacking in moviemaking skills.

From The New Oxford Dictionary:

moviemaker |ˈmo͞ovēˌmākər|  noun

        a person who makes motion pictures; a filmmaker.

Anyone read a reference to my name in the moviemaker definition?  Such as:  see Delilah.  Nah, me either.
Enter Wonderful Sister.  Who has a friend that is a professional photographer and sidelines as a movie editor!   He is going to help!  Hurrah!
Wonderful Sister sent me a copy of his latest publishing and it is fabulous.  So - the Gate has creaked open just a bit more.
When I get Act I, Scene I for Stubborn, faithful reader, I will post it.


PS - I don't know what's up with the weird font sizing or indents on this post.  Maybe one can surmise I am as talented at blogging as I am is being a moviemaker.

You Get What You Pay For

Soooo, faithful reader, I got to work with a vengeance today on taking several short movie clips and turning them into a scene, Act I, Scene I,  for Stubborn.  Five minutes into the iMovie program I wanted to rip my eyeballs right out of their sockets.  User friendly?  Not hardly.  Intuitive?  Not on this planet.  Confirms my suspicion that Steve Jobs was an intermediary for an alien intelligence.  iMovie probably makes perfect sense on whatever planet these ET's inhabit.

Going online, I downloaded the user's manual for iMovie and then printed it.  Forty-six pages of absolutely nothing useful.  Not easily deterred, I got on the Apple website and discovered there was a free workshop today at 4:00 for iMovie at a nearby Mac store!  Hurrah!  ...or so I thought.

You get what you pay for.  I paid nothing and that is what I gleaned from the workshop.  Oh, waitaminute, I learned that the iMovie 08 software loaded on my little MacBook is as useless as tits on a boar hog and to do the scene correctly I really, rilly need the iMovie11 software.  Which comes with a hefty price.  Joy!

What a zoo that store was.  Tomorrow the new iPhone can be purchased and - cripes! - I don't know what all those hordes of people hoped to glean by milling around in the store a day early.  Neither did they.  But they were there, sure enough, just like flies on a mule turd on a hot summer's day.

At 4:00 the workshop started, with me and another bewildered iMovie-er.  At 4:15 two other goobers showed up, a guy and his wife.  The instructor felt he needed to start over.  So a one-hour class is going to be shortened by nearly half because the latecomer morons do not know how to tell time.

This ever happen to you?  You get in a class with other people and someone invariably needs to show the other attendees just how damn smart he is, in fact, way smarter than the instructor.  And if you don't believe him, just ask!  The latecomer goober felt it was his duty in life to stand over my shoulder and tell me just how silly and inept I was for not knowing how iMovie worked.  While his wife snickered at me.

Kept telling myself:  Be Good.  Be Good or Be Gone.  I opted for the latter.

You get what you pay for.

And another axiom (courtesy of me):  If it was easy to get a screenplay turned into a movie, everyone would be at the Academy Awards.

Late, Ever Late

No excuses, faithful reader.  I have been remiss.  No update for last Sunday as usual.

We've returned from a visit to my folks' house in Tennessee.   Surreptitiously,  and also quite sneakily we visited my grandmother's house to film a scene for Stubborn.  It's my intention to have her farmhouse to be a part of the actual movie.  It is perfect.

The reason being for the film shoot, even though we are not filmmakers in any sense of the word, according to my ever-fee-exacting lawyer we need to have at least one scene filmed prior to the end of this year so we can be 'grandfathered' in to a very attractive investment opportunity for - duh - potential investors.

So here it is - in its uncut status.  There are several mini-scenes that need to be cut and pasted into one final scene.  When I get the scene doctored I will present it to you, faithful reader.

Thank you Steve Jobs!  For having the film editing application installed on my little MacBook at no charge.

And thank you, Steve Jobs.  You knew you could not fail.

Channeling Cecil

Cecil was my mother's mother.  She was widowed with five children, the youngest being 9 months old, on April 1, 1941.  During the Great Depression.  She had a 6th grade education and no job skills.

The saving grace was the farm that was given to her by my great-grandfather, her father, who won it gambling on Tennessee riverboats.  It became truly a working farm, nearly self-sufficient save for coffee, flour, spices, and sugar.  

Cecil found work at the local nursing home, as a nurse's aide, aka grunt work.  All five children were afforded a college education, a rarity in those days.  I often wonder how she did it.  She told me once that she knew she could not fail.  Faithful reader, does that sound familiar?

The lovely and attractive mu-mu featured in the photograph, above, belonged to Cecil.  Wonderful Sister spied it in a box of clothes in my parent's basement and sent it to me.  On particularly grim days when I'm in the Black Hole (or Black Hell if you choose) which is chronic depression, or my ankle is hurting so bad I just want to cut it off, or words won't come for my ongoing Stubborn revision - I put on this old, worn-out mu-mu and channel Cecil.

Bonanza, or, I've Finally Gone off the Deep End

Faithful reader, I am still nursing a broken ankle.  It still hurts.

Nearly two years ago I was involved in a head-on collision and broke a bone in the same foot that is now connected to my broken ankle.  At the time, Stubborn was just an idea churning in the back of my head.

I decided to do a warm-up piece before I seriously started writing Stubborn.  Here is what I wrote.  It provides insight into what was, and still is, running through my head:

Bonanza

You knew everything was going to be OK when you saw the Cartwrights riding up - or even just one of them.  The good guys would prevail and the bad guys would get their comeuppance.  In the end, 60 minutes later, all would be right with the world and as a little kid I could go to bed and sleep well.

I wasn't very old when it came on, every Sunday night, at 8 o'clock.  It took a special dispensation from my dad to watch Bonanza - bed time was also at eight but it was only one night a week so I was pardoned.  

And so every Sunday night I was at the Ponderosa where I was welcomed as a guest into Pa Cartwright's house.  

I rediscovered Bonanza so many years later when I was sidelined with a broken foot and two bum knees in December, 2009.  It was reassuring to see the Cartwrights again - albeit interspersed with commercials for motorized wheelchairs, portable oxygen suppliers, innumerable scam insurance ads, and ambulance-chasing lawyers.  

At least  somewhere justice was still clean-cut and so was right and wrong.  And I was still welcome at Pa Cartwright's house.

Yah, the acting and scripts  were terrible and so were the plots - but so what?  Good and Bad and Right and Wrong.  All right there and wrapped up in a tidy 60 minutes.  

And really cool horses.  I was always a sucker for the horses.

Not too long ago Adam (aka Pernell Roberts) passed on to be with the rest of the Cartwright family on the Big Ponderosa in the Sky.  He was the last of them, you know.  Who besides me shed a tear?  I bet more than one little kid from the 60's.

What I wouldn't give to be living on that Ponderosa.

Knowing You Cannot Fail

Faithful reader, I have been struggling for a while now - continuing with my revision of Stubborn.

Sometimes you feel like you've lived too long...
The days drip slowly off the page


And then you find yourself
Pacing the cage.


These lines are from a song I've identified with for as long as the song has been sung.  It is a variation of the common cries of anguish - due to living a life of unfulfilled dreams.

Everyone has this inside of them.

There's another common anthem:  The Road Not Taken.

They're the same, really.

When I began this epic of writing a screenplay that was gifted to me, I also started closely examining the lifestyles of successful people.  One that stands out is Jay Leno.  I read his autobiography, Leading With My Chin.  

He knew he could not fail.  It was simply a possibility he could not comprehend.  Hence, he didn't.

That is a key theme in my screenplay:  You know you cannot fail.  Who knows how or why?

When I was a young girl (ages ago, maybe eons) and so attuned to horseback riding, I had a very skittish and clumsy very tall horse.  There were huge ditches that laced my grandmother's farm where I would ride, fancying myself as a (1) fox hunting rider; or (2) steeplechase jockey.  I would urge poor clumsy Sinbad over these huge gaping chasms with the thought:  "Throw your heart over the fence and the horse will follow."  He never stumbled once.  Maybe that's all it takes.  I am trying.

An Air Cast

It's Sunday evening and my broken ankle hurts.  A whole bunch.

I've been outfitted in something called an Air Cast.  It is a link between the world of ambulatory people and the world of people who have to plan events ahead of time such as visiting the bathroom.

No joke.  If you can't walk, dear, you're screwed.  Think about it.

So - a healthy appreciation of the ads I see when watching Bonanza re-runs.  The Scooter Store!  Hah!  I know from whence they speak.  But I'm still not buying into the crappy insurance ads.

Another regress from Stubborn world.  I promise, I am working on it.

The Friend of a Friend

My very first blog post was about finding a person with Connections - or an "In" to get my screenplay into an Important Person's hand.  There, faithful reader, you met the Friend of a Friend.

Hubby and I were delighted to welcome the Friend into our home on Thursday.  Here is his photo, taken at the Atomic Testing Museum:

His name is Chuck DeCaro and what an amazing person he is.  A one-man dynamo who has two speeds; On or Off.  Chuck was on the way back to his home in West Virginia from California.  Accompanying him was his faithful Weimaraner, Oliver Prozac.

One of Chuck's many talents is consulting for Belisarius Productions.  He's worked on Quantum Leap, Airwolf, and NCIS, to name a few.  That's where he met Raven; and he is the one who introduced me to her.

He had some great stories to tell.  Come back soon, Chuck!  You are a Life-force.  A true Renaissance Man.

Two Cool Things

The first Cool Thing:  had to take the little MacBook in to the Genius Bar on Friday because I am not.  A genius, that is.  Waiting for a resident Genius, I was chatting with one of the help staff.  Turns out, she's an aspiring movie trailer writer/producer in a NY film school and is taking a break for the summer.  I told her the plot line of Stubborn and she loved it.  I mentioned I wanted Willow Smith attached as the lead and she suggested someone else in case Willow was a non-player:  China McClain, who is in a Disney show called Ant Farm.  Looked her up, cripes!  She would be fabulous as well.  Plus - she already has a contract with Disney, obviously, and this is very obviously a Disney movie.

Cool.

The second Cool Thing:  Hubby and I had dinner last night at Piero's, an Old Vegas Mob eatery that is Cool in itself, with an ex-colleague of Hubby's that is now a Newspaper Editor.  The conversation rolled around to Famous People we've met.  Editor won hands-down:  he interviewed Captain Picard last month; has his e-mail address and phone number, and (gasp!) is very certain CP will be here for a Las Vegas adaptation of Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice.  He then went on to assure me that he would be throwing a party for the production and we will be invited.  I would be introduced.   Introduced!  (double-triple-gasp!)

To.

Captain.

Picard.

Way Cool.

A Boat Anchor

Faithful reader - this muse has not much to do with my screenplay saga.

Rather - it has a lot to do with incapacitation.   (Hope that's a word.)

Long ago, living with my grandmother, she had it in her head that one of our horses was harassing her cattle.  Hence, she had a chain strung on the poor horse's neck and affixed to it was a long metal pole.  Her rationale was that he would not harass the cattle with this chain dragging a pole attached to his neck.

It was a stupid rationale.  But I was a little girl and as such had little power to change the poor horse's fate.

But the horse survived.  After a few months my grandmother deemed the miscreant horse 'cured' and she removed his cruel fetters.  He was a good horse.  He survived worse under my grandmother's hand.

So - what has this to do with Stubborn?

You make the call.

Some Reviewer Magic

This broken ankle is at once a blessing and a curse.

Curse:  Can't sleep worth a crap, can't ride the red sport bike, can't drive the snappy little white convertible.  Going anywhere saps my energy to where I feel like I'm a hundred years old.  Or more.  Major suckage.

Blessing:  Must focus on the Screenplay.  No excuses.  Not even for me.  And I'm on it, once again.  Thanks to Wonderful Sister who's provided a wealth of information on character exposition.  Thanks!

It's also given me an opportunity to thoroughly evaluate the screenwriter reviewer's review:

I have read between the lines of his critique.  He is a gifted reviewer and for once I will reveal his identity for those like me that aspire:  Mike Cheda.  You can do a web search and find his page.  Good guy, a very good guy indeed.

Case in point:  One of his critiques was that my dialogue was "on the nose" - meaning that my characters were saying exactly what they were feeling or thinking.  Did you ever realize how wrong that was?  Moviegoers need to become 'invested' in the dialogue, i.e. develop the conclusions the screenwriters want you to reach, without telling you.  Therein lies the Art.  The writer needs to dance around the point, albeit briefly, and let the viewer reach the conclusion you want them to.  Who knew?

It sure changes your perspective.

I am moving forward.

The Muse (Mostly) Returns!

I dunno, there's something about the atmosphere in L.A.  that works magic on a tube-blocked aspiring screenwriter.  Waiting in the doctor's lobby while hubby was having a minor procedure done, trusty laptop in my lap,  I managed to cut through the layers of self-doubt and cold fear and have started revising Stubborn.

This has never happened to me before - being too paralyzed to move.  What's up with that?

But we move on.  And I am.

For anyone who has never been to L.A.,  I strongly recommend scheduling a visit.  It is like going to another planet.  Really.  Something about the vibe of the place is just startling and will make you catch your breath.

Back in Las Vegas now, broken ankle still in a cast, propped up on the ottoman.  This time next week I hope to report a lot of progress, faithful reader.  I've only revised four scenes so far.  But that's four more than I had last week.

Any progress is good.

Oh - and Follow-up on Captain Kirk, et. al

If you're a Trekkie in any sense of the word - oops, purists refer to themselves as Trekkers - you would certainly be aware of the big Trek-Fest that went down this past weekend in Las Vegas.

There were more headliners there than you could shake a phaser at.  Not to mention Captain Kirk.

Now - for the low, low price of $1000 you could have your photo taken with him and an autograph.  Briefly toyed with the idea of shelling out the serious coinage and shoving my screenplay in his hands.  What's wrong with this picture?  Oh, only about 10 million other people have done the same thing.

Captain Kirk ($1000!)  Captain Jean-Luc Picard ($1000!) here's a little sidebar for you - prostitution is illegal in Clark County, where Las Vegas resides.

You whores!

Back in LA-LA Land

Traveled with hubby today to Los Angeles.  He is scheduled for minor surgery tomorrow and needs a responsible person (ME? Hah!) to take him back to the hotel room.

This will prove interesting because I have a cast on my right foot/leg.  But I have been practicing.

Faithful reader, as you well know, I have not mentioned revising my Stubborn screenplay.  In fact, I have been studiously avoiding even going near my screenplay.  Kind of like the North end of one magnet facing up with the North end of another magnet - instant repulsion.

But - I am back in the Land of Earnest High Hopes for all aspiring screenplay writers.

Hoping to juice my mojo.  While hubby undergoes his surgery I will have NOTHING TO DO BUT WORK ON STUBBORN, Rev. 1.  Will keep you posted.

PS - Also as I've previously said, LA is like no other place on earth.

Stay tuned.

The New "IN" or Not

Soooo....I called my friend who has a business relationship with Captain Kirk.  Turns out it is only a passing relationship - but he DID scroll through his Rolodex and give me a number that he thought was CK's cell.

Called it.  Turned out it was a production company CK owns.  Spoke with CK's personal assistant, who, sadly, referred me to CK's agent.  Another black hole!

But nothing ventured, nothing gained.  I send CK's agent a resume of my Entertainment Lawyer (E.L.) a treatment of Stubborn, and a synopsis of all I've done so far to get my screenplay in the Right Hands.

We will see.

Another Avenue to Try

A final post from the Las Vegas Film Festival:  sadly, Oxy Morons was not in the running for nor received any award.  I feel bad for the Actor/Director/Manager/You-Name-It-Guy.  He was a refreshing and positive voice to hear.  But I know he will do well.

Another Avenue to Try:  Think I've found an "IN" for getting my screenplay into the hands of an Important Person - a Friend who has a business relationship with Captain Kirk.  Continuing to pursue.  Trying to muster the courage, actually, to call my Friend.

Cripes, I hate to ask for anything.  I would make the worst salesperson, ever.  But nothing ventured, nothing gained.

BTW, "Another Avenue To Try" is a line from one of my favorite Bonnie Raitt songs, The Luck of the Draw.


"...You dust the bottles on the bar counter,
you're writing screenplays on the side.


Three nights a week can keep a girl working
sometimes it's good to lose your pride.


These things we do to keep the flame burning;
and write our fire in the sky...
another day to see the wheel turning,
another avenue to try.


It's in the luck of the draw baby -
a natural law.


Forget those movies you saw little baby,
it's in the luck of the draw.


You turn around and say it's last orders.


You fix the ribbon in your hair.


Tomorrow's letter in the hall doorway
could be the answer to your prayers.


These things we do to keep the flame burning
and write our fire in the sky...
another day to see the wheel turning,
another avenue to try.


It's in the luck of the draw, baby - 
a natural law.


Forget those movies you saw little baby
It's in the luck of the draw."


Thanks, Bonnie.

Color Coordination With An Ambulatory Cast at the LV Film Festival

Hubby and I attended the LV film festival last weekend.  Notice the color-coordinated dress to with the ankle cast.  On the color-coordinated red carpet.  Can I plan, or what?

We attended a symposium of indie producers.  One of the questions from the audience was, "How do you get your screenplay into the hands of the right people?"  The answer:  Find out where they eat, or drink, or hang out and be there waiting with a copy of your screenplay.  In other words, stalk them.  Sounds a little creepy to me.  But I am considering it.

The other festival-attendees were interesting.  One particularly so.  He was the writer-director-producer-star of an indie called Oxy Morons.  True story about the W-D-P-S becoming addicted to Oxycontin so badly he was robbing drug stores.  Did hard time in the Big House.  His comments were so very inspirational - because they were sincere and came straight from the heart.  They moved me to tears.  I wish him the very best, he with his most definite Bah-stonian accent.  He deserves to succeed.

Tracking down a lead (not stalking, I swear) to a guy with a most definite "in."  More, later.

A Broken Ankle for a Muse

Coming down the escalator in the airport, coming off-shift facing a luxurious 2-weeks off, I broke my ankle.  But good.  Tomorrow I should be bound for another work shift, but instead have a doctor's appointment.  The doctor will tell me whether or not surgery is indicated.  Yep, broken but good.

So, how's the re-write going?  One might ask.  Not too very well.  Have managed to read through all the review comments (medications for broken foot helped) and devise a plan.  Here it is:

1.  Read through screenplay scenes and give a one-sentence description of each;
2.  Add comments specific to each scene as appropriate; and
3.  Re-write!

Just about through with item 1, above.  I promise more tomorrow, faithful reader.

Girding my Loins

Tomorrow I am getting off-shift and will be flying from Prudhoe Bay, Alaska, to Las Vegas, Nevada.  A twelve-hour sojourn.  Joy! 

At least I'm headed home.

Nestled in my briefcase are printouts of all three screenplay critiques.  Since I will be a prisoner in an extremely confined space (read:  crappy airline seat) there is no escape:  I WILL read the critiques and I WILL come up with a screenplay revision strategy.  Yes, I WILL.  No excuses.  And I will IMPLEMENT the strategy.  Goal:  one scene a day until completion.

The title of today's blog - Girding my Loins - may have thrown some of my readers for a loop:  have I turned to porn to augment my readership?

No, dear reader, I have not. 

The title is taken from Scripture.  I belive the loin-girder of record was Sampson, from the Old Testament.  He was about to kick a bunch of hapless Philistine ass.  But first he had to gird his loins.  I'm with you, buddy!

A Writer's Purgatory

My screenplay has now gone through three reviews from three reviewers.

The First Reviewer was recommended to me by Budget Guy - for the low, low fee of $100. 

When the comments were e-mailed back to me, the first line of the review was a 3-column header.  The first column was a check-box and the comment "RECOMMEND;" the second column, a check-box and the comment "CONSIDER;" and the third column, a check-box and the comment "PASS."  Guess which one my screenplay got?  PASS. 

I haven't mustered the courage to get past this and read the review comments.

The Second Reviewer was The Director's personal assistant.  We had a telconference, she speaking and me transcribing her comments on my laptop.

She was very kind.  She liked my story!  And she had some very constructive comments.

The Third Reviewer was recommended to me by Raven.  She told me this reviewer was a personal friend and reviewed all her books (yes, Raven is a published author as well!)  Tough, but good.  And pricey!

Raven was right.  He is tough.  I guess.  I haven't read his review either. Hubby did.  Sister did.  They both reported back to me with kind and encouraging words.

Must do so, and soon.  Must read all review comments and incorporate.

But it is difficult to do so.

In the South there is an expression: "You need to lick your calf again."  It is a beautiful and perfect allegory of what I am going through. 

To you non-Southerners, I will explain:  when a calf is born to its mother, the calf is the most beautiful thing the mother has ever seen.  She licks and licks and licks her calf until it is sparkling clean and perfect.

I need to lick my calf again.

The Big Seminar, Part II

So we went to the Big Seminar, Hubby and I.

E.L. told those in attendance what he told me, and what I've already told you:  no Big Studio is even interested in looking at your screenplay, let alone buying it.  And most definitely not for a jillion dollars. 

They may be pursuaded to distribute your screenplay, maybe.  If you can get it made into a movie.  And if they deem it marketable.

A big collective *sigh* heaved from the hopefuls in attendance.

Then E.L. talked about the 181 deal.  This is a huge tax break for Indies.  It makes it more attractive for would-be investors to invest in your screenplay production.  If you'd like to research it in all its painfully boring details, it's found under:  The American Jobs Creation Act of 2004; Internal Revenue Code Section 181.

Highlights of 181: 

Investments are 100% tax deductable for the year they are made; and
A guaranteed 30% return on investment if the movie turns a profit.

Downside of 181: 

It will expire at the end of 2011 - but a movie can be grandfathered if it has a screenplay and one scene shot prior to the end of 2011.

There were three Others speaking at the Big Seminar:  A sucessful Distributor, and two Producers.  They talked about product placement, ethnic casting, and European marketing.  Interesting. 

Also something known as "affinity relationships."  This was new - and here's an example:  you're trying to make a movie about a little-known sport such as Curling.  What you do to get your movie made is try to enlist the support of members in the Curling community.  Hopefully wealthy Curling members happy to invest.

And "Casterbating:"  The act of imagining the actors you want in your screenplay actually being in your screenplay.

The Speakers spoke.  Questions asked.  Notes taken.

General schmoozing then:  introductions made, complements bestowed, business cards exchanged, promises given.

Hubby said, "If you can convince people in Hollywood you're sincere, you've got it made."

The Big Seminar, Part I

Stubborn Blog readers, let me apologise for the two-week lapse in entries.  I've been on vacation.

Sooo, to continue, the date for EL's seminar drew nigh.  And we went.  It was in Beverly Hills.  Just when you think you've seen it all - and I thought I had, since I live in Las Vegas - you're transported into an alternate reality world like in an old Star Trek episode.  Whew! 

Highly recommended:  walk down Sunset Boulevard on a weekend.  It's straight out of the Mos Eisley bar scene from Star Wars.

We stayed at the same hotel as E.L.  It was Hubby's idea.  He, being an old P.R. guy from way back, said "More time for schmoozing."

Met E.L. in person for the first time when we were checking in.  He is a sweetie.  Gave me a big hug.

We had cocktails that night at the hotel on the Veranda.  Met several other seminar attendees involved in an indie screenplay and they were just a hoot.  So much fun to talk to.  Met the gorgeous Raven in person for the first time.  Amazing woman. 

Annnd...met The Director.

E.L. had spoken with The Director about my screenplay.  The Director was very, very interested.
He is not only a Director, but an Actor and a Philanthropist.  And about 7 feet tall.  Was in a Terminator movie.  Played a Bad Guy.  And looked the part, believe me. 

Then The Director walked up to me and engulfed my hand with both of his big paws.  "God bless you," he said.  Another sweetie! 

"I look forward to working with you," he said. 

Gulp.

The New Moviemaking 101

Here is the upshot of E.L.'s phone conversation:

As mentioned previously, most established studios will not finance motion pictures unless a high-visibility (and high box-office draw) talent is attached.

Screenplays are now turned into movies by small production companies; the movie is then pitched to studios for distribution rights.  But cripes!  Movies cost a ton of money.  How on earth can I...?

E.L. recommended that I attend a seminar on making independent ("Indie") movies he was hosting in May.  I started making plans the moment the words were out of his mouth.

In the meantime, he said, you need to come up with a Budget (Oh yeah, I can do that...NOT!) and with the Budget I can write a Business Plan for making my movie.  The Business Plan is what Potential Investors review to see whether or not they want to invest.  And yah, I have about as much expertise at writing a Business Plan as I do in writing a Budget...

E.L., of course, anticipated my cries of "Holy crap!"

"Now, you'll need to call Budget Guy and send him your screenplay.  He will deliver - he's a good guy and a personal friend of mine.  Then - I'll put the budget in your LLC charter. We'll take that to Business Plan Lady and she'll set you up."

Why don't I just open a window and throw my money out in the street?

A constant theme threading through my Screenplay is that the characters Know They Cannot Fail.  At whatever they choose to do, over insurmountable odds.  Perhaps I should take these words to heart, quit bellyaching, and get on with the program.

The New Hollywood

When I phoned E.L., he didn't say hello - he just started talking.  Evidently I'm the only client he has in my area code.  And, hey, wasn't the crusty, curmudgeonly voice just a little softer?

E.L. said, "I'm going to give you a crash course in MovieMaking 101.  Your name isn't Jolie, or Pitt, or Smith (as in Will) or, etc...you get the picture.

Here's the playing field you're dealing with today:  Movie studios and production companies won't touch screenplays unless they have already attached someone like a Jolie, or a Pitt...

So here's what you have to do to get your picture made:

(At this point I assumed he liked the screenplay.)

You have to form a Limited Liability Corporation (LLC) and make the picture yourself.  Then you sell distribution rights to a Motion Picture Corporation - whoever bids the highest."

Whaaaa...?  I'd assumed I'd sell my screenplay for a ton, retire, and spend the rest of my days on the beach with drinks in coconut shells featuring little umbrellas...

I explained:  "E.L., I'm an engineer, not a movie producer!"  (flashback:  Dr. McCoy in Star Trek:  Dammit Jim, I'm a DOCTOR not a (insert profession here).)

"I don't know the first thing about making movies!  I just wrote the screenplay!"

E.L. replied in a soothing voice:  "That's what I'm here for."

Many sleepless nights followed.

B.C. Flightlines and Soaring Spirits

E.L. didn't even say hello - when I picked up the phone (after removing my rubber gloves from cleaning the toilet) he said, "You need to send me your screenplay.  And a check."

I took this as a Good Sign. 

Oh - and by the way - more Hollywood-speak:  A "Treatment" is a 2-to-3 page synopsis of a screenplay with all the significant plot points.

So in short order, a copy of Stubborn was winging its way, FedEx Overnight, to E.L.  With a big, fat check. 

Gulp.  Oh well, I've pissed away more money than that in one sitting.  Nearly.  Well, mostly nearly.  Well, almost mostly nearly...

Next day was Valentine's day and hubby treated me to Bootleg Canyon Flightlines, in Boulder City.  Isn't he a sweetie? 

Part of the BC Flightlines brochure says, "Do not bring along any loose articles such as sunglasses, hats, or cell phones because they can easily be dropped during your run down the flightline.  And they cannot be retrieved."  So I left my phone in the car.

Four hours later, when we returned, there were FOUR messages from E.L., all saying the same thing, "Call me!"

I did a quick calculation.  Hmmm, the FedEx delivery guaranteed arrival at E.L.'s office at 10AM.  Looking at my watch, he's had about 2 hours to read the screenplay and call me four times. 

I took this as another Good Sign.

Enter the Lawyer

Raven said, "You can't get anywhere in Hollywood without a lawyer.  Forget about an agent, girl, you need a lawyer!  And I have just the one for you."

She gave me a name and number.  "Now, I'll call him and tell him I've referred you; and that he can expect your call.  He's good people.  Hey - and stay in touch with me.  I want to see what happens."

What an angel.

So I did call him.  The next day.  I heard a crusty, curmudgeon's voice on the other end of the line:  "You're WHO?  How did you get my name?"  I told him.  "Oh, yeah.  She did call me.  What is it you want from me?"

I parroted back what Raven had told me:  "I've been told that to submit even a pitch letter to a studio or a production company it needs to have an entertainment lawyer's letter of introduction.  I'd like to retain (insert a big internal GULP right here) you to represent me for my screenplay submissions."

I will call him E.L.  He said, "Well now, you just wait a minute.  I have a name and a reputation in the entertainment industry and I just don't tie my name to anything anyone wants to submit!  And I damn sure don't do it for FREE or for CHEAP, either...WHO did you say you were?  How many screenplays have you written?  Any been made into movies?"  He was firing questions off at me like a machine gun.

But I couldn't help but get tickled.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained.  I fired right back:  "Well sugar, I don't expect you to work for free.  Everybody's got to earn a living somehow, now don't they?"

This seemed to take him by surprise because there was a pause in the machine gun fire.

EL:  "Do you even have a treatment for your screenplay?"

Me:  "I DO have a treatment.  Would you like to read it?"

EL:  (grumble) "Yah.  E-mail it to me and I will have a look at it.  If I like it, I MIGHT call you back."

I e-mailed it to him and went to off clean the toilet. (Hey, I multi-task!)

Ten minutes later the phone rang.  It was E.L...

The Wonderful Raven

With all of the preconceived notions of rotten, horrible Hollywood-type people ringing in my head, I called Raven with no small amount of trepidation. Gulp.

What a wonderful person she turned out to be!  Raven wanted to know (1) how I knew her friend, the technical advisor; and (2) what my screenplay was about.  I told her.

She loved my screenplay idea!  Asked me to send her a copy!  Promised to get back to me with comments!  Was she for REAL?

She rattled off where specific plot points should be in the pages of my script.  For example, all the main characters should be introduced by page 10.  (For the record, mine all came in focus on page 12.  So close...)

So, she asked, who do you have in mind to "attach" to the screenplay? 

More Hollywood-speak!  "Attach" means getting talent to sign a contract for the screenplay.  Oh - and "talent" could be actors, producers, directors - any Name that will attract Prospective Investors.

I told her.  She was impressed!  No one's thought of attaching Her (my lead character) to anything yet, she said.

Oooh - starting to feel really, rilly giddy. 

Then the other shoe dropped. 

Raven asked what steps I had taken to market my screenplay.  I told her and she laughed.

No wonder you've had no luck, she chortled.  Here's what you're going to have to do...

Friend of a Friend of a Friend, ad infinitum

The trail went cold pretty fast on finding an agent or a production company that might be interested in Stubborn.  As one might imagine.

I asked Hubby, "Do you know anyone who might know Anyone?"  Turns out, he did.  His father had a friend who worked as a consultant for military- and fantasy-themed TV shows.  Hubby called him (bless my longsuffering Hubby's heart) to ask if he Knew anyone.

Turns out, he did.  A book author, actor, and director.  Rolled into a nice, beautiful package.  I will call her Raven.  The Consultant phoned back to give me my first "Hollywood" words:  She would take my call.  Hurrah! 

Gulp.

Save the Cat!

The author's name of Save the Cat! is Blake Snyder, a screenply writer of some renown.

One path that aspiring screewriters have readily available to them is a venue called Screenplay Writing Competitions.  They are somewhat akin to beauty pageants in that one cannot swing a dead cat without hitting a competition. (No pun intended.) And anybody can stage one.

Some competitions have an entry fee, which would seem to vary with the whim of the contest organizers, and some are free.  The free ones, I've noticed, are very difficult to enter online.  Two come to mind immediately:  Amazon's monthly screenwriting contest; and Ron Howard's screenwriting competition via YouTube.  After trying numerous times to enter with Amazon, and getting "error" notices for data entry points; and trying to FIND Ron Howard's contest on YouTube, I've concluded they've been hacked by aspiring screenwriters trying to narrow the competition field. 

Blake Snyder makes an interesting point about these competitions in his book:  They are essentially a useless waste of time and entry fees.  No producer, agent, or movie company will give a shit whether you've won a competition, or even twenty of them.  Kinda like the old adage, "With that and $5 you can get a cup of coffee."

So I will leave them to the hackers.  Good luck, you saps!

Nothing Is Ever Easy

After the inspiration struck for writing a screenplay, I did quite a bit of reasearch on the subject.   There are quite a few books written on this, numerous websites, and several software programs. 

I used a program called Contour for structuring the screenplay.  This allows the writer to write an outline of the sequence of events and act breaks for the story.  It uses several popular, recent movies as examples to help in laying out the story. 

Then I used a program cleverly called Screenwriter to format the dialogue in accordance with the accepted practice for font, size, and layout. 

A weird thing is that the accepted practice for binding a hard copy printout of the screenplay is TWO (not three) BRASS tacks holding the pages together (unwieldy and awkward); and the cover sheet MUST be pale blue with NO photos, clip art or anything else except the title of the screenplay, its author(s) - CENTERED on the blue paper - with the contact information in the LOWER RIGHT CORNER.  In COURIER 10 pt.  Anything else, I've read, is grounds for instant round-filing of your submission.  Weird.

There are several books I read about screenplay submissions, but the one I would most recommend is called Save the Cat.  The author's name escapes me at the moment.  His book discusses the formatting that Countour provides.  Also several examples, and, if you're interested, homework questions at the end of each chapter.

So, screenplay carefully written and re-written, and re-re-written, I mounted a writing campaign to find (a) an agent; or (b) a production company that would even take the damn time to open my pitch letter.

Nothing is ever easy.

A Screenplay Writer in an Engineer's Body

This is the first blog for me; about the first screenplay I've ever written and my attempts to get it made into a movie.  A day of firsts.

I am by trade an engineer.  But the screenplay came to me as a gift:  "Spiritus" - Latin for inspiration.

The screenplay is about very stubborn people and a stubborn mule.  Stubborn isn't necessary a bad thing, as the movie will show.  Sometimes it's very, very good to be stubborn.

Tomorrow I will speak more of what has transpired in my screenplay efforts; and what is yet to come.  It is an interesting saga-in-the-works.